‘Till Debt Do Us Part? Why You Need to Talk Money Before Marriage
When it comes to love and marriage, few people dream about spreadsheets, credit scores, or budgeting apps. But here’s a wake-up call: according to a recent survey from TD Bank, 71% of people say they would consider breaking up with a partner if they discovered financial dishonesty, and 56% say bad spending habits could be a dealbreaker.
These numbers speak volumes. While it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of planning a wedding, ignoring important financial conversations can put your future at risk.
Let’s face it—money is more than just dollars and cents. It reflects our values, priorities, and even our upbringing. When couples don’t align financially, or worse, avoid the topic altogether, it can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and serious conflict down the line. That’s why it’s crucial to connect about money before marriage—not after.
Money Matters
Money is one of the top causes of stress in a relationship. And it's not just about how much you make. It's how you manage it, what you value, and how you plan for the future.
Here are a few key reasons why talking about money before marriage matters:
Avoid hidden surprises: From student loans to secret credit card debt, financial surprises can damage trust quickly.
Set financial expectations: Do you plan to combine accounts? Who pays what? What are your financial goals?
Understand money mindsets: One of you may be a saver while the other’s a spender. That’s not necessarily a dealbreaker, but it needs to be addressed.
Protect your financial future: Conversations about credit, debt, savings, and even prenups can prevent future financial hardship.
How to Start the Conversation
Money doesn’t have to be a scary topic. Here are five ways to make the conversation productive and even relationship-building:
Create a judgment-free zone
Start by setting the tone. This isn’t about blame or shame—it’s about building a life together. Pick a relaxed time to talk and be honest about your own financial story, including mistakes and lessons learned.Share your money histories
Your past shapes your money habits. Maybe one of you grew up in a household where money was tight, while the other had more financial flexibility. Discussing your background can help explain current attitudes and foster empathy.Lay everything on the table
That means income, debt, savings, credit scores, and spending habits. Transparency builds trust. If you’re not sure how to start, use a budgeting app or worksheet to break it down together.Talk about goals
What does financial success look like for each of you? Do you dream of homeownership, starting a business, or traveling the world? Aligning on your goals makes it easier to work as a team.Make a financial plan together
Decide how you’ll handle everyday expenses, whether you’ll combine accounts, and how you’ll save for the future. Some couples keep everything joint, others split it 50/50, and some create a hybrid system. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer—just make sure it works for both of you.
Top 6 Money Topics Cover Before Marriage
To get on the same page, make sure to discuss:
Debt: How much do each of you owe? Are you comfortable helping each other pay it off?
Savings: Do you have emergency savings? Are you saving for retirement?
Spending habits: What’s your idea of a big purchase? Are you okay with impulse buys?
Income and career plans: Do you expect to earn more, work less, or make a career shift?
Children: If kids are in your future, how will you afford childcare, education, or parental leave?
Financial roles: Who will manage the budget, pay bills, and track goals?
Don’t Skip the Legal Stuff
While it’s not the most romantic topic, a prenuptial agreement or a marriage contract can be a smart move—especially if one partner is entering the marriage with significantly more assets or debt. A prenup doesn’t mean you expect the relationship to fail; it simply ensures you both understand what would happen in the event of a split.
The Bottom Line
Love is a powerful foundation—but financial compatibility is the structure that keeps a relationship standing. Think of your money talk as a form of financial intimacy.
Being open about money isn’t just about planning for the future — it’s about protecting your relationship. After all, nothing says “I love you” like being honest, vulnerable, and ready to build something lasting — together.